Randomer Notes

Dr. Drew and Tucker Carlson need to go suck off a chainsaw together. Parasites.


America® is the culture that does awesome things and then takes a knee way too fucking early. We're great at taking science to head-splitting heights only to pat ourselves on the back after passing the first milestone and then... that's it. We never go further with it. Nuclear science: we blew something up and then walked away. Moon missions: went to the moon a few times and then walked away. The Internet: we put it into place and then walked away. As great and wondrous as the innernet is, it's extremely limited. For one, it's whole existence depends on my ability to see it. If I go blind - if the majority of people go blind - fuck that place. No more innernet. It's just another bulky product of potential collecting dust in the annals of woulda-couldas in the history of America®. And toilet paper. Fucking toilet paper. Do you know how insane it is that this is 2012, a year when body parts are printed and moon colonization can be planned with at least a modicum of seriousness, and human beings still resort to folding plies of toilet paper to rub against their freshly shat buttholes to clean themselves? And it's not even cleaning, in the sense; it's literally rubbing dingleberries into the flesh of your backside until no more can be wiped away. Toilet paper is a technology that hasn't improved since the 14th Century - and no, Charmin saying they've added thicker plies to their enormo-rolls isn't a goddamn innovation.


Since I've been at the Ministry, two people have started working there and then been let go shortly thereafter. They practically get disappeared. No warning, no goodbyes, no sharing of secrets among remaining coworkers the day after. I don't belong to the inner cadre of work goings-on to be privy to the theater of employment, so the only indication that those two were not working at the Ministry anymore was that they simply didn't come in. That was all the notice the rest of us got. And then, as if to stamp a seal of certainty onto the secret affair, someone new comes in the following Monday and sits at their desk. I could ask my superiors about the absent coworker, but it hardly seems like a productive inquiry. I will only be given a boilerplate explanation, which isn't anything more than what I already know. It makes me wonder how close to that fate I am. I hardly get any feedback from the quality of my work at the Ministry so the only confirmation of job security that I have is I'm not told to not come in the next day. That's it. Part of me wants to respect my employer a little more because of that veiled threat of being disappeared like the rest. Another part, though, howls awake and insists that I give less a shit than I did the previous day. It's not like either course of action is going to distance me any further from that apparent sword that constantly dangles over each of our head's.

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